Stem Cell Transplant Day 13

Or day +6 as they call it in here


I have been here 13 days so far.  I'm six days out from the transplant.  I really don't know what to say about what this has been like, other than awful.  I told Jeremy the other night that I sure am glad I got the "good cancer."  Can not even imagine what having the "bad cancer" is like.  I've learned that just because a cancer is curable doesn't mean the road to a cure is easy.  At all.  This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, both physically and mentally. 

As the days go on, the worse I feel.  The more nausea and vomiting I have.  The more stomach cramps that don't ever stop.  The mucositis (yeah, it's terrible) gets worse.  Last night I just couldn't deal anymore so I finally got some dilaudid.  Hallelujah for pain meds!!  It knocks the throat and stomach pain out completely, making this a little more tolerable.  I sleep a lot.  I have never been this fatigued in my life.  It's crazy how just walking to the bathroom leaves me weak.  This will improve as my counts go up, but geez.  My appetite is pretty much non-existent.  I still drink my shake in the morning but that's about all I can manage to get down.  This morning I got sick after I drank it and the nurse said that chemo can cause lactose intolerance so I should probably stop the shake.  They don't have almond or soy milk here so I guess I will have to not drink it.  Jeremy went to the grocery store and bought me some peaches.  Hopefully those work.    

My white count has completely bottomed out, just as it is supposed too.  Today, my hemoglobin is 9.6 and my platelets are 24.  The doctor says he expects that if I will need a blood transfusion that will happen tomorrow or Tuesday as my counts continue to drop.  He told me that the misery that I feel is normal misery and is to be expected.  He said it's good that I feel as bad as I do because that means the chemo is doing its job. 

And my hair.  Today it has decided to fall out.  I already talked to the nurse about shaving it later.  It's coming out in handfuls so I might as well get rid of it.  The first time my hair fell out, I was really freaked out and emotional.  This time I really don't care.  It is what it is.  And I know it will grow back. 

One reason it has taken me so long to update this blog is because I have nothing positive to say.  But, I have been getting a lot of messages asking how its going so I figured I would just put it on here.  Hopefully in the next two to three days things will start getting better.  At least that's what they tell me.