Keep It Simple. Just Be Positive!!!

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.  A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes.  It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results."
-Author Unknown

I believe 100% in the above quote.  Even before my diagnosis I tried to be the most positive person I know.  Being positive no matter what the circumstance is so important.  Being negative or feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help anything.  Just makes things worse.  But if you can find good in everything, if you can remain positive even when you are going thru the worst that life has to offer, it's pretty amazing how much easier the bad times are to handle not only for yourself but for those around you.  If you are happy and handling life well, those around you will automatically worry less and be happier themselves.  It's not always easy, and there have been times over the last few years that I have struggled to stay positive, but I have always found a way.  There are silver linings everywhere, you just have to look for them.  Lately, I've become seriously happy for good days.  Before cancer I took every single day for granted.  Didn't even realize I was doing it.  But now, since I have had an entire week of extremely crappy days, days that I felt like vomiting and sleeping all day, days that I really had to push myself to deal with work, days that I know are going to happen every other week for the next six months...now that I have experienced those days, my good days are that much gooder!!! (yes I know that's not an actual word!)  The bad stuff has helped me focus on the good stuff.  The good stuff that has always been there, but that I just never noticed before.  Like, dancing the Cupid Shuffle in the living room with Reagan.  Once an annoying task, I was as happy as could be that I felt good enough to dance with her the other night.  Or how awesome it feels to want to eat.  Or how much you can laugh with your husband if you stay up past 8:00.  Or how many people really and truly care about you.  Or having enough energy to exercise, do laundry, clean the kitchen, etc...  All of that is good stuff.  Always has been.  I just never really realized it before.  Amazing how your perspective changes when you can look at everything with a positive mind set.  :)

So, I have discovered that the entire week after chemo is pretty much going to be a bust.  At least I know what to expect now.  And, I'm not sure if it has anything to do with chemo or not, but I have been having the WEIRDEST dreams lately.  And I wake up a lot.  Probably from the weird dreams.  But today I woke up at 6:30am to a little 7 year old girl saying "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!!!  He came back!  Franklin came back!  Come on let me show you!"  Geez.  Way to early for elves from the North Pole.  Franklin is our elf.  And this is where she found him this morning.

Notice the Kleenex on the Barbie's.  The girls couldn't find any clothes for them and Reagan didn't want Franklin to see them naked.  Quick thinking on her part.

Thanksgiving was pretty awesome.  My family likes to play games and yesterday was no exception.  Jeremy said that he was confused playing Dominoes because he was only used to playing prison rules hahahaha.  What makes that statement even funnier is I don't think he was joking!  Oh, and I think he is kind of partial to our niece Hadley.  Maybe because she is also his goddaughter.  I don't know but I think she likes him too! 

 

 

 

And today I was lucky enough to spend some time with my good friend Natalie.  Every time she comes home we say that next time we will spend more time together.  I'm hoping that when she comes back for Christmas this actually happens!!

 

Natalie is also a personal trainer and a darn good one.  This girl helped me get through my last 90 Day Challenge.  I can't tell you how many times I texted or called her and told her just how stupid the whole thing was!  I was certain that I wouldn't live through it, and she was certain I would.  Thanks to her not ever giving up on me, I not only survived but I knocked it out of the park!!  And, I'm convinced that I had to get through that bit of torture to prepare me for my current challenge.  Being healthy and in the best shape of my life happened because Natalie re-entered my life just over two years ago.  Just one more thing I'm thankful for. :) :)





 

 

 

Chemo side effects and DINNER WITH FRIENDS!!!!

OK.  So lets get this out of the way quickly so we can get to the good stuff.  Since my first treatment on Thursday I really haven't felt that great.  Could definitely be worse, but could also be lots better.  Being really tired carried over into Friday, and I just felt blah.  A little nausea but nothing to awful.  Just really, really tired.  Saturday the nausea kicked in a little more and I was forced to take some nausea meds.  Blech.  Did.Not.Want.To.Do.That.  But, it is what it is so I took it.  Made me sleep but it helped a lot.  Today I've mostly been tired.  Just really tired.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow, I'm just hoping things are normal.  Now for the good stuff.

Last night I was scheduled to have dinner with my BFF's from High School.  I wasn't sure how I would feel and was kind of worried I wouldn't feel like going.  As soon as my dad picked up my kids I took a quick 15 minute nap and headed out the door.  Boy am I glad I did!!!  We met at Hacienda on 1st Avenue.  I walked in and saw them all sitting there in matching shirts.  Then I realized those shirts had my name on them.  HOLY CRAP.  I was in shock.  I mean, really in shock.  They probably thought I didn't care or notice because I didn't really know what to say.  Moments like that are so humbling and I never know how to respond.  It took our waiter a few tries on about three different phones, but he finally got a decent photo of us.

 

 

What a good time this was.  We talked about our kids, our jobs, why my husbands knee is still whacked (two of these beauties are physical therapists so I figured I would take advantage of the free information).  We laughed.  And that's the best part.  You know, I was thinking about this today.  You know those best friend heart necklaces that you give each other in high school?  I think we all gave each other one of those at one point or another.  You don't realize it at the time, but those friendships you make when you are a teenager will literally last a lifetime.  Even if you don't talk much or see each other much or know much about each other except for what is posted on Facebook, that friendship remains.  After all these years and these girls did this for me.  And want to do more.  I'm so blessed to have chosen these girls as my friends many, many years ago.  I think I'll keep them awhile longer :) 

 

As if that wasn't enough, one of them sent me home with a huge bag of goodies to help me get through chemo.  Along with the mints, hand sanitizer, and lip balm she included some other really great things.  The ladies at her Church (Bluegrass United Methodist) made a prayer shawl that was prayed over by the congregation to help me know that I am being prayed for. 

 

Then there was this awesome devotional.

 

 



Oh, and yesterday another awesome friend dropped in with a huge pot of Taco Soup.  What a good surprise!  Jeremy had dinner last night and I didn't have to cook anything after Reagan's birthday party today.  So that worked out perfect!! 

 

Speaking of Reagan's birthday party...

 

She wanted rainbow cupcakes.  Not my best effort but she liked them so that's all that matters!  And the blowing of the candles, well, I sort of failed to plan for that.  Luckily no one was burned but Jeremy did get a good hand waxing!!  Today was a good day.  Now if I can just stay awake long enough to watch Walking Dead...



You're Here For Your First Chemo Session and....HEY! I Saw You On The News!!!

It's tough being married to a celebrity.  I mean, seriously.  We met with Dr. Stephens before my first chemo session, and literally in the middle of his sentence TO ME he looks at Jeremy and says "Hey!  I saw you on TV the other day!"  Then proceeds to converse with him about that for a minute.  I'm sitting there like HEY!!  Lets get back to me!!  Hahaha.  Seriously though I am proud of my husband and actually found it sort of great that the Dr. acknowledged what he does for a living.  So after meeting with the Dr. it was time for my first chemo session.  And I was so darn nervous.  Not nervous about being there and receiving the treatment, but nervous about the unknown.  I will share with you how this whole thing went down.  Sorry if it bores you, but it was all new to me so I want to document it all. 

First thing that happened was a really nice nurse came and took us back, and gave me a reassuring rub on the back that everything was going to be ok.  She let us pick our spot, so we chose a chair facing the windows and on the end (my husband has this thing with being next to people he doesn't know so we always pick the end no matter what).  While we waited, I decided to cash in on the free lunch that was provided that day by the Acropolis.  I had never eaten there so figured why not.  Man it was good!  Evidently several area restaurants provide lunch on any given day, including Chic-Fil-A.  Oh man.  That's my absolute favorite so surely I will be lucky enough to get a free lunch out of them one day.  Anyway, it wasn't long after I finished lunch that the nurse had all of my stuff ready to go.   

Before they put all this in me, they pushed through steroids and nausea meds, one of which was Ativan.  Made me goofy and tired.  Jeremy laughed at me quite a bit before I fell asleep.  At least I could humor him :).  The whole things took about 3.5 hours.  This was what Jeremy did to pass the time...

I forgot to mention that the Chemo Buddies that walk around are so kind.  And since it was my first time, they brought me a bag full of goodies and things I will need.  And, they let pick from a quilt that was handmade from the inmates at Wabash Valley Correctional Facility or a pretty pink blanket made by a 15 year old girl who saved up her birthday money to make blankets for chemo patients.  How sweet is this kid??  I didn't hesitate to choose the quilt made by inmates.  I actually have a guy on probation who participated in this program when he was incarcerated at Wabash.  He told me all about the program and how he had never sewn a day in his life before then.  He explained to me how this program really opened his eyes and how he was so happy to be able to help someone in need.  To be able to pay it forward so to speak.  So, when I found out I might possibly be given one of these quilts, I knew I had to have one.  

After treatment, we had to go strait to Emily's Spell Bowl competition.  They came in 1st in there division.  So proud of her.  She is so smart and excels at everything she does.  Great kid.  I was too tired to stay for the awards so we went home.  I pretty much fell asleep immediately (7:30).  But, before I could fall asleep, Reagan gave me a bag with 48 handmade cards from the entire first grade class at North Elementary.  Let me just say that these made my heart melt.  And some made me cry.  Kids are so dang amazing.  Here is just a sample of what I received.  I hope they make you smile too!

So, that wraps up my first chemo treatment.  Only 11 more to go!!!  Now we just wait and see how my body reacts.  Today so far I don't feel great but it could be worse.  I'm more tired than anything.  Good news is it's Friday and a good friend is bringing us pizza from the Yellow Tavern for dinner!!  Yay for that!!

I've Been Ported...And Educated

Yesterday I had my port placed.  That was a different experience for sure.  I was placed under conscious sedation, which means I was awake for the whole thing!!  I thought they were going to put me under, so this was a surprise.  I was given a concoction of Versed and Fentanyl through an IV, then they placed a big blue tarp over me, leaving an opening so I could at least see the wall.  It was the strangest thing...it never hurt, but I could feel tugging and pressure at times.  At one point the doctor was singing along with the music over the speakers.  I took this as a sign all was well.  Once the port was placed and I was sewn up, off to recovery I went.  I was there for about an hour and allowed to go home.  It still doesn't hurt, but if I raise my arm a certain way or turn my head to the left I can feel a tugging sensation.  I'm sure I will get used to that.  The worst part has been the dang itching!!!!  Surely that will stop soon.  If not, I may claw through my skin!!

Today was chemo education day.  What a kick in the rear this was.  You know, going through this whole process to this point has kind of been just that, a process.  Find a lump, tell the doctor, doctor refers to another doctor, that doctor gives antibiotics and refers to another doctor.  Third doctor performs an excisional biopsy and receives diagnosis, then refers to a fourth doctor.  Fourth doctor orders a bunch of tests, then meets with us and explains the final diagnosis and treatment plan.  Until today, it's been all words and information.  Seriously.  Just words and information.  "You have Hodgkins Lymphoma.  This is a form of cancer.  You are going to need chemotherapy.  You might get sick.  You might lose your hair.  You might be really tired."  Well, today it became reality.  The nurse we met with was really great and very informative.  She went through EVERYTHING from how to check in to how to handle mouth sores and fevers.  And losing my hair.  She talked about this a lot and pretty much guaranteed it will happen even though the doctor left it at a maybe.  So surreal looking at a catalog full of wigs and talking about where to go to get great scarves and hats.  I mean, I complain about my hair all the time but I secretly like it now.  It's finally the length and style I've been trying to obtain for years.  She assured me that when it grows back it will probably be better.  Oh, and a positive side to this hair loss thing...I won't have to shave!!!  This possibility had never crossed my mind.  This is a big plus to the whole situation!

After all the hair loss talk was out of the way, things got even more surreal.  We discussed the different chemo medications I will receive and how the whole process will work.  The way I understand it, it will go something like this:  The nurse will access my port then start the IV.  First, saline will be pushed through, followed by a couple different nausea medications.  After that the first of four chemo drugs will be started.  The one medication is bright red, and I was told to not be alarmed but that I will pee red until its all out of my system.  We went through all the possible side effects of each medication and how to best counteract them.  I was pretty much guaranteed food won't taste good and that I will have a metallic taste in my mouth so I should eat with plastic utensils.  And keep lots of mints and lemonheads on hand.  At least I will have an excuse to eat candy!!!  Oh, and the shakes I drink, you know, the Visalus shakes, those are going to be my saving grace.  The nurse and doctor told me so.  They suggested I go buy Boost or something like that, until I told them about Visalus.  They agreed that my shakes were great and I should keep on drinking them.  More good news!!  All in all, the chemo process will take about 3.5 hours.  Not sure how, but I will find a way to pass the time.

I had already decided that I wanted to do my first chemo session on 11/29.  But, of course, they are only open for those needing IV fluids that day.  Since I had no back up plan I kind of panicked for a second.  Not knowing how I am going to react kind of makes this a tough decision.  Long story short, we decided on this Thursday, November 21.  THIS.IS.TWO.DAYS.AWAY.  HOLY CRAP.  I thought I had over a week to get ready for this.  Oh well.  It's probably a good thing.  This way I will know sooner than later how I'm going to react to this toxic mess.  And to think, just a little over a week ago I was super nervous to meet with Dr. Stephens.  This time, meeting with him will be the easy part.  It's kind of amazing how things change so quickly.  I'm nervous, but ready.  Ready to kick cancers ass!!!!

It's Official

Up until this afternoon, all I knew is that I have cancer in my neck and in my chest.  I knew that preliminarily Dr. Stephens believed I was in Stage II and that I would need six months of chemotherapy.  What I didn't know was if the cancer was anywhere else in my body.  So, going into my appointment with Dr. Stephens this afternoon Jeremy and I were both a little anxious.  Let me just say that this wonderful man, Dr. Stephens, put us at ease pretty much right away.  He is so kind and explains things so well.  He read us the results of my heart test.  And my heart works just fine.  He didn't have the official results of my lung test but is confident that test turned out ok as well.  Then he began discussing the results of my PET scan.  And guess what?  GOOD NEWS!!!!!  It's not anywhere else in my body!!!  He showed us the pictures and that was really neat.  I learned that my brain has a lot of activity (of course, Jeremy had to comment that that was no joke!  hahaha).  I also learned that I have multiple (and by multiple I mean pretty much all of them) nodes that have malignancy in my neck, several in my chest, and a few under my right arm.  There are a lot of lymph nodes with malignancy, but the good news is they aren't that large in size.  He has seen much larger.  He said that the smaller the better and he is pretty confident that our original plan of six months of chemotherapy will kill all the cancer.  There is of course a small chance it won't work, but I'm not even considering that.  So the next step is having my port placed (doing that on Monday morning), then I have to meet with the nurse for chemo education on Tuesday morning.  After I meet with the nurse I will schedule my first chemo session.  When that happens is completely up to me.  It's a big decision since I don't know how I will react to chemo, so I don't know when my bad days will be or even if I will have bad days.  I will figure all that out this weekend. 

I have to mention that I have the most incredible family and friends in the world!!!  I can't even explain the outpouring of support I have received since I went public with my diagnosis on Sunday evening.  It has been so overwhelming and humbling.  I've had so many offers to help out with the girls, to bring us meals, to clean my house, etc.  I had a friend offer to go with me to my PET scan on Monday, and at first I insisted that that wasn't necessary and I didn't want her to just sit for three hours.  She insisted it wasn't a problem and that she wanted to go.  I reluctantly took her up on her offer and I'm so glad I did!!!  Just having her there afterwards was awesome.  We went out to eat dinner and had a great time.  I have a friend that started a meal train for us, and people are already signing up to bring us food.  My best friends from high school have organized a girls night out later this month so we can hang out (I haven't hung out with these girls in several years!).  I received a package from my cousin today that had all kinds of things that I will need during chemo and a Christian music CD of her favorites.  I have been using an IPhone with a cracked screen for a good while, and one of my friends couldn't stand it any longer so she made a call to her friend iPhone Todd and he fixed my phone for free today!!!  Today, I had lunch with one of my best friends.  She paid for lunch, then pulls a necklace out of her purse and gives it to me.  Only, the necklace wasn't from her, it was from two women that she knows that had read my blog and wanted to do something nice for me.   Such a humbling experience to have people you have never met do something for you.  It's also humbling to receive so many texts and Facebook messages that it took me 45 minutes straight to respond to them all.  Hugs...I have received so many of those the last few days!!  And that's good because I LOVE HUGS!!! 

I don't know what these next six months will hold.  I don't know if I will get sick, if I will lose my hair, or if I will be tired.  But I do know this:  I am loved.  And that will get me thru it all, no matter what :)

The day I met my Oncologist

On 11/7 I met with a man who I have never met.  It just so happens that this man will become one of the most important men in my life for the foreseeable future.  He is my Oncologist and his name is Dr. Stephens.  I was so nervous for this appointment.  Seriously.  I thought for sure I was going to puke in the parking lot.  It was that bad.  There had been some concern from my husband, close friends, and family in the days leading up to this appointment.  I was even a little concerned.  Those closest to me wanted me to seek treatment from outside of Evansville.  They wanted me to receive the best treatment available, and all strongly felt that could only happen elsewhere.  I didn't necessarily agree with that, so I wasn't real aggressive in checking into other options.  Finally though, I made the call to my insurance company, and as fate would have it, my insurance would not pay for me to go elsewhere (or at least the two places I wanted to check out).  I was immediately at peace.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and this was no exception.  I already had an appointment scheduled for 11/11 with a Dr. at Oncology/Hematology in Evansville, but didn't want to wait that long.  So I called to see if I could have the appointment moved up, totally not expecting it to happen.  I was told, to my surprise, that there was an opening on Friday with Dr. Stephens, but this wasn't the original Dr. I had an appointment with.  I told the lady that I didn't care who I saw, I just wanted to get in.  So, the appointment was set.  The next day they called me back and said that Dr. Stevens now had an opening on Thursday morning and would that be OK??  Heck yes that's OK!!  And, as I have learned since that time, Dr. Stephens is the best there is around.  I have had two other doctors and numerous other people tell me that.  And after meeting him, I would agree.

We met with Dr. Stephens for about an hour.  He was truly amazing.  He explained everything so well, and was so comforting.  He explained that my previous CT Scan showed enlarged nodes in my neck and chest, the largest of which was in my chest.  He ordered a PET scan to be sure I don't have enlarged nodes anywhere else.  He doesn't think I do, but can't be certain until we get that test result (I had the PET scan on 11/11).  He also ordered a pulmonary function test and echocardiogram (had both of those done yesterday 11/12).  Those tests were ordered because, according to Dr. Stephens, some of the chemo medications can weaken the heart muscles and screw with your lungs.  I'm pretty sure I passed those tests no problem.  He explained that he preliminarily believes that I have Stage II Hodgkins and will be treated with six months of chemo, which will be one treatment every fourteen days.  He explained that everyone reacts different to chemo so he couldn't tell me if I will get sick or not.  He couldn't say whether I will lose my hair or not.  Just have to wait and see.  He did, however say that the prognosis for Hodgkins is really good.  Yay!!!  I have the "good cancer!!!" 

I'm having a port put in on 11/18.  Chemo will start at some point after that.  I'm certain I will find all that out on Friday.  Until then, I will just keep dealing with all this nonsense.  And, it is nonsense because Ain't Nobody Got Time For This!!!!!! 

I will never forget this day, ever

November 1, 2013
Throughout my 36 years of life, I have experienced many moments that I will always remember.  Some good, some bad.  Overtime, I have forgotten specific details of many of those moments, although I still remember the event.  Today, I experienced a moment that I am 100% certain I will always remember.  Even the tiny details.  Even as I type this (it's not really 11/1 right now) I remember every.single.thing.  It was Friday afternoon at 3:55pm.  My cell phone rang while I was walking out of my bedroom toward the steps to go to the kitchen.  Jeremy was in the kitchen.  Reagan was in the living room watching Disney and Emily was downstairs on the computer.  I looked at my phone.  No Caller ID it said.  Crap.  Although I had been waiting for this call for two days, I suddenly didn't want to answer it.  I knew it was Dr. Wahle (my Ear, Nose, and Throat surgeon) or his nurse calling with the results of my biopsy.  I sat down on the steps and answered the phone.  It was Dr. Wahle himself.  Crap.  I instantly knew this wasn't going to be a good conversation.  Why else would the Dr. call and not the nurse.  Dr. Wahle proceeded to tell me that he had just received the results of my biopsy.  (Note:  On 10/30 I underwent surgery to have an enlarged lymph node removed from my neck.  I will explain how I got to that point in a later post.)  "I removed the largest node from your neck.  There were several but I took the largest" he said.  "You have Hodgkins Lymphoma" he said.  It was at this moment that time just sort of stopped.  He continued to talk, but I wasn't really hearing much.  I looked up and Jeremy was staring at me wanting to know what the Dr. was telling me.  I couldn't respond.  Even though I kind of already knew that he was going to tell me I had cancer, a part of me was still saying "Are you $%^&*#$ serious?" 

By the time I started to refocus the Dr. was talking about referring me to an oncologist and asking me who I wanted him to refer me too.  Uh....no clue.  Absolutely no clue.  So, I decide to let him refer me to a Dr. in Evansville.  I will explain the final decision to stay local in another post.  It was a big ordeal.  Anyway, that was that.  In a conversation that lasted less than 10 minutes I found out I had Hodgkins Lymphoma, that it's rare, and that I need to see an oncologist to figure out how I will be treated.    I hung up the phone, shocked.  I just sat there.  Jeremy came over to me and asked what he said.  I just looked at him and said "I have cancer."  Then came the tears.  He sat down next to me and hugged me.  After a few minutes, Reagan started yelling for me.  Time to get back to reality and deal with whatever drama she had created.  So, I wiped off the tears and carried on.  And that was that.

How this all happened

OK.  So, now you all know that I have Hodgkins Lymphoma.  Now I will tell you how I got to this point.  In August, 2013 I felt a bump in my neck.  I instantly thought it was weird since I had never felt it before.  I remember wondering what the heck it was, then decided it would go away.  A week later it was still there.  Only now I could feel another one.  I was a little concerned but just assumed they were swollen lymph nodes and they would go away.  Because, they become enlarged when you are sick, right??  Only problem was I hadn't been sick or felt sick or anything.  I felt great.  I had an appointment with my OB/GYN the following week so I decided to just wait and tell her about them. 

August 27 I had my annual appointment with my OB.  I told her about the swollen nodes, she felt them, checked for sores or scratches on my arm and hand.  Found nothing.  She told me that the nodes were out of her realm of expertise and ordered some blood tests and told me to follow up with my family doctor.  Ok sounds great.  Except I didn't have a family doctor!!  I NEVER get sick!!  The only doctors I had were an Orthopedic Dr. and my OB.  That's it.  I hadn't had a family Dr. since I was 18.  So, I made an appointment with my husbands family doctor.  And I met with him a few days later.

I believe it was about two days later I met with the family doctor.  He felt the nodes, and by this point you could feel several of them in a chain.  They were larger than they were a few weeks prior.  He told me they were Supraclavicular lymph nodes and that it was a concern when these became enlarged.  Of course I already knew this because I had been utilizing Google for days and searching for an explanation.  From what Google had taught me, I had learned that these nodes could be enlarged for a couple of reasons.  Infection is the most common cause.  Other causes could be mono, HIV, Tuberculosis.  Or cancer.  But cancer was the least common reason.  I knew I didn't have an infection, or HIV, or TB.  That left cancer but there was no way I had that.  Not to my surprise, the doctor told me the same thing I had read online.  He told me all of my blood tests came back normal.  He ordered two more blood tests and started me on an anti-biotic to officially rule out an infection, even though we both knew I didn't have one.  Standard procedure in these situations.  So, he referred my to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor.  If the antibiotics helped and the nodes reduced in size, I didn't need to keep the appointment.  If nothing changed, I needed to go to the appointment.  The other two blood tests came back good as well.  So now I was left to take the meds and wait. 

Of course, nothing changed.  We all knew it wouldn't.  So, on October 21, 2013 I met with Dr. Wahle.  He is wonderful.  The result of that appointment was officially ruling out an infection as the cause and scheduling a biopsy and a CT Scan.  After discussing all my options and the process of each procedure, I chose to undergo a Fine Needle Biopsy.  Long story short, after consulting with my husband and a close friend, I called and scheduled and excisional biopsy.  And that's what happened next.

October 30 I underwent the surgery for the excisional biopsy.  I was terrified.  I mean, I had previously had two surgeries on my knee, but that was my knee.  The thought of having my neck cut on scared the crap out of me.  All I could think of was all the things that could go wrong, such as my jugular getting slashed.  It was kind of a big deal.  The surgery took an hour and all went well.  I went home and waited.  And on November 1, my waiting was over (refer to first post).