Keep It Simple. Just Be Positive!!!

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.  A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes.  It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results."
-Author Unknown

I believe 100% in the above quote.  Even before my diagnosis I tried to be the most positive person I know.  Being positive no matter what the circumstance is so important.  Being negative or feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help anything.  Just makes things worse.  But if you can find good in everything, if you can remain positive even when you are going thru the worst that life has to offer, it's pretty amazing how much easier the bad times are to handle not only for yourself but for those around you.  If you are happy and handling life well, those around you will automatically worry less and be happier themselves.  It's not always easy, and there have been times over the last few years that I have struggled to stay positive, but I have always found a way.  There are silver linings everywhere, you just have to look for them.  Lately, I've become seriously happy for good days.  Before cancer I took every single day for granted.  Didn't even realize I was doing it.  But now, since I have had an entire week of extremely crappy days, days that I felt like vomiting and sleeping all day, days that I really had to push myself to deal with work, days that I know are going to happen every other week for the next six months...now that I have experienced those days, my good days are that much gooder!!! (yes I know that's not an actual word!)  The bad stuff has helped me focus on the good stuff.  The good stuff that has always been there, but that I just never noticed before.  Like, dancing the Cupid Shuffle in the living room with Reagan.  Once an annoying task, I was as happy as could be that I felt good enough to dance with her the other night.  Or how awesome it feels to want to eat.  Or how much you can laugh with your husband if you stay up past 8:00.  Or how many people really and truly care about you.  Or having enough energy to exercise, do laundry, clean the kitchen, etc...  All of that is good stuff.  Always has been.  I just never really realized it before.  Amazing how your perspective changes when you can look at everything with a positive mind set.  :)

So, I have discovered that the entire week after chemo is pretty much going to be a bust.  At least I know what to expect now.  And, I'm not sure if it has anything to do with chemo or not, but I have been having the WEIRDEST dreams lately.  And I wake up a lot.  Probably from the weird dreams.  But today I woke up at 6:30am to a little 7 year old girl saying "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!!!  He came back!  Franklin came back!  Come on let me show you!"  Geez.  Way to early for elves from the North Pole.  Franklin is our elf.  And this is where she found him this morning.

Notice the Kleenex on the Barbie's.  The girls couldn't find any clothes for them and Reagan didn't want Franklin to see them naked.  Quick thinking on her part.

Thanksgiving was pretty awesome.  My family likes to play games and yesterday was no exception.  Jeremy said that he was confused playing Dominoes because he was only used to playing prison rules hahahaha.  What makes that statement even funnier is I don't think he was joking!  Oh, and I think he is kind of partial to our niece Hadley.  Maybe because she is also his goddaughter.  I don't know but I think she likes him too! 

 

 

 

And today I was lucky enough to spend some time with my good friend Natalie.  Every time she comes home we say that next time we will spend more time together.  I'm hoping that when she comes back for Christmas this actually happens!!

 

Natalie is also a personal trainer and a darn good one.  This girl helped me get through my last 90 Day Challenge.  I can't tell you how many times I texted or called her and told her just how stupid the whole thing was!  I was certain that I wouldn't live through it, and she was certain I would.  Thanks to her not ever giving up on me, I not only survived but I knocked it out of the park!!  And, I'm convinced that I had to get through that bit of torture to prepare me for my current challenge.  Being healthy and in the best shape of my life happened because Natalie re-entered my life just over two years ago.  Just one more thing I'm thankful for. :) :)





 

 

 

Chemo side effects and DINNER WITH FRIENDS!!!!

OK.  So lets get this out of the way quickly so we can get to the good stuff.  Since my first treatment on Thursday I really haven't felt that great.  Could definitely be worse, but could also be lots better.  Being really tired carried over into Friday, and I just felt blah.  A little nausea but nothing to awful.  Just really, really tired.  Saturday the nausea kicked in a little more and I was forced to take some nausea meds.  Blech.  Did.Not.Want.To.Do.That.  But, it is what it is so I took it.  Made me sleep but it helped a lot.  Today I've mostly been tired.  Just really tired.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow, I'm just hoping things are normal.  Now for the good stuff.

Last night I was scheduled to have dinner with my BFF's from High School.  I wasn't sure how I would feel and was kind of worried I wouldn't feel like going.  As soon as my dad picked up my kids I took a quick 15 minute nap and headed out the door.  Boy am I glad I did!!!  We met at Hacienda on 1st Avenue.  I walked in and saw them all sitting there in matching shirts.  Then I realized those shirts had my name on them.  HOLY CRAP.  I was in shock.  I mean, really in shock.  They probably thought I didn't care or notice because I didn't really know what to say.  Moments like that are so humbling and I never know how to respond.  It took our waiter a few tries on about three different phones, but he finally got a decent photo of us.

 

 

What a good time this was.  We talked about our kids, our jobs, why my husbands knee is still whacked (two of these beauties are physical therapists so I figured I would take advantage of the free information).  We laughed.  And that's the best part.  You know, I was thinking about this today.  You know those best friend heart necklaces that you give each other in high school?  I think we all gave each other one of those at one point or another.  You don't realize it at the time, but those friendships you make when you are a teenager will literally last a lifetime.  Even if you don't talk much or see each other much or know much about each other except for what is posted on Facebook, that friendship remains.  After all these years and these girls did this for me.  And want to do more.  I'm so blessed to have chosen these girls as my friends many, many years ago.  I think I'll keep them awhile longer :) 

 

As if that wasn't enough, one of them sent me home with a huge bag of goodies to help me get through chemo.  Along with the mints, hand sanitizer, and lip balm she included some other really great things.  The ladies at her Church (Bluegrass United Methodist) made a prayer shawl that was prayed over by the congregation to help me know that I am being prayed for. 

 

Then there was this awesome devotional.

 

 



Oh, and yesterday another awesome friend dropped in with a huge pot of Taco Soup.  What a good surprise!  Jeremy had dinner last night and I didn't have to cook anything after Reagan's birthday party today.  So that worked out perfect!! 

 

Speaking of Reagan's birthday party...

 

She wanted rainbow cupcakes.  Not my best effort but she liked them so that's all that matters!  And the blowing of the candles, well, I sort of failed to plan for that.  Luckily no one was burned but Jeremy did get a good hand waxing!!  Today was a good day.  Now if I can just stay awake long enough to watch Walking Dead...



You're Here For Your First Chemo Session and....HEY! I Saw You On The News!!!

It's tough being married to a celebrity.  I mean, seriously.  We met with Dr. Stephens before my first chemo session, and literally in the middle of his sentence TO ME he looks at Jeremy and says "Hey!  I saw you on TV the other day!"  Then proceeds to converse with him about that for a minute.  I'm sitting there like HEY!!  Lets get back to me!!  Hahaha.  Seriously though I am proud of my husband and actually found it sort of great that the Dr. acknowledged what he does for a living.  So after meeting with the Dr. it was time for my first chemo session.  And I was so darn nervous.  Not nervous about being there and receiving the treatment, but nervous about the unknown.  I will share with you how this whole thing went down.  Sorry if it bores you, but it was all new to me so I want to document it all. 

First thing that happened was a really nice nurse came and took us back, and gave me a reassuring rub on the back that everything was going to be ok.  She let us pick our spot, so we chose a chair facing the windows and on the end (my husband has this thing with being next to people he doesn't know so we always pick the end no matter what).  While we waited, I decided to cash in on the free lunch that was provided that day by the Acropolis.  I had never eaten there so figured why not.  Man it was good!  Evidently several area restaurants provide lunch on any given day, including Chic-Fil-A.  Oh man.  That's my absolute favorite so surely I will be lucky enough to get a free lunch out of them one day.  Anyway, it wasn't long after I finished lunch that the nurse had all of my stuff ready to go.   

Before they put all this in me, they pushed through steroids and nausea meds, one of which was Ativan.  Made me goofy and tired.  Jeremy laughed at me quite a bit before I fell asleep.  At least I could humor him :).  The whole things took about 3.5 hours.  This was what Jeremy did to pass the time...

I forgot to mention that the Chemo Buddies that walk around are so kind.  And since it was my first time, they brought me a bag full of goodies and things I will need.  And, they let pick from a quilt that was handmade from the inmates at Wabash Valley Correctional Facility or a pretty pink blanket made by a 15 year old girl who saved up her birthday money to make blankets for chemo patients.  How sweet is this kid??  I didn't hesitate to choose the quilt made by inmates.  I actually have a guy on probation who participated in this program when he was incarcerated at Wabash.  He told me all about the program and how he had never sewn a day in his life before then.  He explained to me how this program really opened his eyes and how he was so happy to be able to help someone in need.  To be able to pay it forward so to speak.  So, when I found out I might possibly be given one of these quilts, I knew I had to have one.  

After treatment, we had to go strait to Emily's Spell Bowl competition.  They came in 1st in there division.  So proud of her.  She is so smart and excels at everything she does.  Great kid.  I was too tired to stay for the awards so we went home.  I pretty much fell asleep immediately (7:30).  But, before I could fall asleep, Reagan gave me a bag with 48 handmade cards from the entire first grade class at North Elementary.  Let me just say that these made my heart melt.  And some made me cry.  Kids are so dang amazing.  Here is just a sample of what I received.  I hope they make you smile too!

So, that wraps up my first chemo treatment.  Only 11 more to go!!!  Now we just wait and see how my body reacts.  Today so far I don't feel great but it could be worse.  I'm more tired than anything.  Good news is it's Friday and a good friend is bringing us pizza from the Yellow Tavern for dinner!!  Yay for that!!