My Appointment at IU and Other Stuff

So my appointment with the Dr. at IU has been set for June 5.  Next Thursday can't get here fast enough.  I'm nervous as can be, and waiting just makes it worse.  What will he say?  What will I have to do next?  Will I have to have another surgery for a biopsy?  Will I have to do radiation?  Will I have to do more chemo?  Will he tell me everything is fine and to just go home?  Good grief waiting is maddening.  

I found out this week that one of my good friends from high school has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  My heart sank when I heard the news.  You know, when you are growing up you NEVER think about getting cancer or any other serious illness.  You just live life, have fun, and hang out with your friends.  You graduate high school and go to college.  You just do what you do without really thinking about life.  Sure, you think about the future, but the future doesn't include cancer or illness.  Ever.  You dream about getting a job that you love, getting married, having kids...that kind of stuff.  Dreams of the future aren't about being in your mid-thirties and getting diagnosed with cancer, going through chemo and losing your hair.  They aren't about having to have your breast removed.  They aren't about going thru treatment and still not knowing if you are in remission or not.  They aren't about mouth sores, night sweats, and insomnia.  They aren't about struggling with self-esteem because of the weight gain, hair loss, lack of breast issues that come from cancer.  Now that I fully understand what someone has to go through when they have cancer, I just wanted to scream when I found out about my old friend.  Knowing what she is getting ready to endure makes me so angry.  She doesn't deserve it and neither do her husband and children.  STUPID CANCER.  I wish cancer would get cancer. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about my friends and all the support I have had during this process.  It's nothing short of incredible.  When I think about all the people who offered to take me to chemo, who did take me to chemo, who brought meals, gave me gifts, watched my kids, and the fundraisers that have been done, I'm humbled.  No one had to do anything for me but so many have just because they wanted too.  I hope that I don't need anymore help, but if I do I know I will have more than I need.  And that makes me smile!! 

I'm going to post pictures from chemo now.  I have posted some in earlier blogs, but I want to post them again, all together.  Why?  Because I can.

 

 

 

Might as well make it fun, right?

I hate losing

Just clownin'

My first chemo...had no clue what was going on!!

Don't know which chemo this was, but it was early on.

  

I mean seriously.  I should have shaved my head that day.  Ugh.

Jeremy likes the ball cap.  I don't.

First chemo...wiped me out!!  Like my blanket?  I love it!  It was made by prisoners.

First chemo BEFORE it wiped me out!!  OMG I wish I had my hair back!!