The last week has been great!!! I started my workouts again on Monday. Man it feels good to get back in the "gym" (my gym is our Steelers room) again. I took it pretty easy compared to what I was doing b.c. (remember, this means before cancer). I did tabata's and core. Monday I could only get through two of the three sets before I had to throw up the white flag. I felt like I did the first day I did the fit test for Insanity. Only difference was I didn't run into the bathroom because I really thought I might puke. It was close though. Tuesday was core and yikes!! I forgot how hard that workout was! I guess those first two days were sort of a warm up because the rest of the week I made it through all my tabata sets!!! I was so excited about that! It was sort of depressing though because b.c. I did those tabata's for a light workout, and now I struggle to finish. But, I made progress last week and that can only be a sign of things to come. After all, and I have to keep reminding myself, I was only one week post chemo #12. Everyone else in my life keeps reminding me of that and telling me to take it easy and not be so hard on myself. Evidently my mind works different because I don't focus on that. All I focus on is the future and where I want to be and I know I have a long way to go. I don't think about just finishing chemo or what my body has been through. I probably should think about that stuff but I don't. I look at pictures of myself from six months ago and compare them to what I look like today and I just want to cry (not gonna lie, I do cry over this sometimes). I wish I still looked like that. I know I need to stop the madness. But it isn't that easy. It's a lot easier for someone who hasn't been through this to say, "Oh, you will get back to looking like that soon." Or, "Just be thankful your alive and are able to lose the weight again." These are things I have been told over the last week. And I get it. I'm lucky to be here. The weight will come off. But it doesn't make the things that cancer did take from me any easier to deal with. Hopefully, as the weeks go on, and I make progress toward my goals, it will get easier. That's what I hope.
On a much brighter note, yesterday was my No More Cancer Party!!!! I could not have asked for a better day. It was absolutely perfect. The rain stayed away, the sun was out. And so many people showed up!!!! Honestly, I had no clue how many to expect. Even so, I was left speechless at the turnout. At one point, I just stood there in awe of everything that was happening. It made me so happy to see everyone laughing, playing games, the kids having a great time, and enjoying all the food. And when it sunk in that everyone was there to celebrate the fact that I was still alive was the most humbling thing ever. That so many people care what happens to me leaves me a little stunned. Every single person there could have been doing a number of other things, but they all chose to give me a few hours of their life. And that means more to me than I can ever express.
Let me give a special shout out to a few folks who did so much to make my party happen. First, Mandy Bratton. This girl pulled this whole thing together. She organized it all, and purposely kept me out of the loop so I wouldn't have to do anything. She put in so much time preparing for this. And yesterday, she worked tirelessly to make sure everything went off without any problems. I have told her thank you so many times I don't feel like those words mean anything anymore. I never asked her to do any of this. She just did it. I just hope that one day I can figure out a way to repay her. Mandy is such an incredible friend and I am so blessed to have her in my life. Glenn Boyster grilled all the food yesterday. Poor guy stood at that grill for hours and refused to let anyone else take over. Michele Boyster helped as well. A very special thank you to both of them for doing so much. My dad was instrumental in making sure we had food and my brother helped with balloons. And Alysia Renner and her mother for making my amazing cake (photo at the top)!!! It was the coolest cake ever and everyone loved it!!! Thank you all so much for everything.
We all know today was Mother's Day. And I had a great one! I told Jeremy I didn't want a gift or to do anything other than be with him and my kids. I told him that the gifts I received from my kids that they made themselves were perfect and that anything he could buy at a store would never be as special. So, we ended up going to Burdette Park and walking 2.5 miles on the nature trail (not his idea of a good time, but since he knows me and how much I would enjoy it, he suffered through it). Then we went to dinner. Perfect. Two absolutely perfect days in a row. My life is so good!!!!
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