No Hair, Don't Care

I'm not sure what happened between 11:00pm Friday night and 8:00am Saturday morning.  All I know for sure is that the place in my brain that constantly thought about/stressed over/worried what others would think f my not so awesome hair stopped working.  I woke up Saturday and was over it.  I just looked at all my hats and scarves and head covers and said "Nope.  Not doing that anymore."  And that was that.  Done.  Another chapter in my cancer story was over, seemingly as quickly as it had started.  Now that I think about it, the whole process of deciding to just go out in the world as I am pretty much mirrored the process of deciding to shave my head.  I stressed about shaving my head for weeks.  My entire thought process was consumed with what to do about the hair thing, especially in the last three or four days before I just said screw it and did it.  This decision was the same.  The last three or four days I have stressed over whether or not to wear something on my head every morning.  Then, while at work, I continued to stress.  Couldn't stop thinking about it.  Several times I went into the bathroom, took whatever was on my head off, and just stared at myself in the mirror.  And every time I would say to myself, "You look hideous.  What were you thinking."  And the head cover would go back on.  Then Saturday happened.  And I can tell you this:  after both decisions I felt so relieved.  Like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  Like I can breathe again.  Yesterday we were at the ballpark all day.  I wasn't sure what everyone would think, but I honestly did not care.  And when you finally let go of what you can't control, your whole world changes.  Life is just better when you live it for yourself and not based on the opinion of others.  That said, I got lots of hugs yesterday.  LOTS OF HUGS.  No one seemed to mind that I looked like a boy!!  Yay for that!!  Several people even told me that they were happy to see me without anything on my head.  So, I am really happy that I can finally just be me.  Because really, I'm still me.  The same me that existed before cancer.  I just have less hair.  So if you liked me with hair, I feel that you will still like me without hair.  If you didn't like me with hair, you probably still don't like me without hair.  So, it's all good.  From now on everyone will get to experience this hair regrowth and these crazy hair days with me.  Whether you want to or not.  Not up to you!!!  Hahahahahaha :)

In other news, I went to my first Relay For Life Survivor Lunch Saturday morning in Mt. Vernon.  That was weird, but good.  I've also been asked to participate in the North Posey Relay For Life as a speaker.  I've got a speaking engagement this week as well.  And I was told twice more this weekend that I should write a book.  That makes about six trillion times now that I've been told that.  I'm starting to think that maybe I should.  I just don't find my life that interesting.  But if someone else does, and they are willing to pay me to talk/write about it I'm probably not going to say no!!!

Last thing for tonight:  I have decided that tomorrow morning officially starts my next 90 Day Challenge!!!!  I'm excited and scared at the same time.  Don't worry though.  I'm starting off slow with my workouts.  At the suggestion of my trainer Natalie, I'll start with Tabata's and slowly work my way back to where I was B.C. (before cancer).  She seems to think that my muscle memory will kick in pretty quick and that it won't take long for my body to adapt.  We shall see!!!  Of course you will all be kept up to date through what will probably be a ridiculous amount of Facebook posts and workout selfies.  Gosh I have missed those days!!!  Workout selfies are the best!!!!!!