If nothing else, my chemo is VERY predictable. Like clockwork. I can tell you exactly how I'm going to feel physically every single day. It's crazy. And weird. Things start going downhill on Sunday after chemo, then every day is gradually worse from there. Wednesday will be the absolute worst. Thursday is still bad. Then I will wake up Friday morning and it will be like nothing every happened. I will feel fine. So bizarre. Anyway, this past Friday was just like the rest. Only difference was I got to spend some time with some pretty great people which made it better than most Friday's. Went to lunch with my friend Jennifer (who I don't get to hang out with enough). Definitely made for a great afternoon. Friday night I went to dinner and then dancing with my pals Mandy and Joy. We had a great time. Had dinner at Angelo's downtown. It was really good. Need to plan a return trip for sure.
Notice I said I can predict how I'm going to feel physically. Notice I didn't say I can predict how I'm going to feel mentally. That is a total crapshoot. Every.single.day. I never know. Yesterday was rough for me. Can't really put my finger on why. I got to sleep in, didn't really have anything I had to do. It was actually a pretty chill day. I should have been happy and glad to have a day like that. But I was in a funk that I couldn't shake. Some days this just happens to me and it's totally random. This never happened to me before chemo. Pretty much never. I was always happy. Always positive. Always able to push myself and motivate myself to get things done. I'm not even kidding. It was rare that I was unhappy or sad or mad. But now. Wow. I don't like this unhappy crap. When I get like this I just want to yell to whoever is in charge of fixing these things "MAKE IT STOP!! JUST LET ME BE ME AGAIN ALREADY!!!" But, really, I'm the one in charge of these things and I'm not a big fan of yelling at myself. So I don't. I just hope when I wake up the next day is better. I don't just dislike it for me, I dislike it for everyone around me. My husband, my kids, my friends. It isn't fair to them when I'm like that. Because I'm kind of mean and hateful. Thank goodness the girls have Jeremy around to lighten up the mood.
Good thing today was Sunday, because I needed to go to Church!! Church helps. It really, really does. The sermon today was just what I needed to hear. And the day was already going better than yesterday. Then, this happened.
She was everywhere. Under the pew, on the pew, had to go to the bathroom, had to go get a drink. Ugh. Stress level increased quickly. Almost left Church early. I was reverting back to the Saturday Michelle. The plan was to go grocery shopping after Church. That changed. I took the girls home then went by myself. After that, the day got so much better! It's amazing what a little sunshine can do for the soul.
Jeremy got the girls outside and moving around while I was gone. Emily was able to get a lot of pitching practice. Reagan raked up this pile of leaves. Then, a family game of basketball ensued. This was a lot of fun! It was me and Jeremy against Reagan and Emily. Yes. Teams were totally fair. Even though I couldn't hit a shot to save my life, I think we still beat them. That was the most physical activity I have had in a long time. I loved it!!!! Too bad it's going to be back to freezing temps tomorrow. So glad we were able to enjoy today.
I love to bake. Love it. Specifically cupcakes. And, if I do say so, I'm pretty darn good at it. I enjoy it so much that I decided early this morning that I was going to try some new flavors today. Not that I need the extra sugar but hey, why not, right? I kind of forget everything else when I'm focusing on baking/decorating. Relaxes me. And that is hard to do these days. I made chocolate/cherry and chocolate/caramel cupcakes. The chocolate/cherry didn't turn out as I had planned, so those need some work. But the chocolate/caramel turned out really good!!
Now, I'm watching the Grammy's. Not really sure what to think about it. Metallica definitely just rocked it out. But I'm old so It's probably expected that I would like them. But really, what a good way to end the weekend. With music. I like music. And I like being happy. Let's hope I wake up tomorrow and the trend continues....
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